Have you wondered why there is so much hype about parenting these days? Parenting classes, parenting seminars, parenting workshops, parent coaches, parenting programs. What is all the hype? Why can’t we just be like our parents, or their parents? They did not attend parenting sessions…and we turned out just fine...or did we?
But really, does everyone need parenting support? Many parents are just doing their best,and really do not think they need support in their parenting. In fact they will often say - 'But parenting does not have a manual, what gives anyone the authority to tell me how to raise my children?’
Yes, it is true that parenting does not have a manual. Every child is unique, every parent is special, every situation is different. However, one thing we must realize is that we are living in very, very different times and we must acknowledge that these times are not as predictable, as certain and as straightforward as the times our parents raised us, or were raised themselves. It is not that we are inadequate, or do not have what it takes, but we must acknowledge that raising children in the 21st century is a whole different ball game. We ALL need support in our parenting.
And here is why…..
Our parents were raised in systems that supported community parenting.
They were raised in a village and many of us were also raised in similar settings – whether it was in an estate or in the village. There was always a sense of knowing that there were several adults looking out for you. You may not have realized it consciously, but there was a sense of ‘I am being watched over’ and it gave us a sense of safety. It really does take a village to raise healthy children and we are losing that. We are losing the social connectedness that was very fundamental to our general well-being. And for that reason, we need to create spaces for that sense of safety for our children.
The adults who were raising us were all speaking the same language.
Whether it was the teacher in school, Sunday school teacher, the aunty, the neighbor, the coach – EVERYONE spoke the same language in terms of the values and expectations of how to carry yourself around. We knew what was expected of us. Now our children have 100 million teachers at the click of a button and it is overwhelming for both parents and teachers. In the face of all these competing teachers – where is the truth? How can we sift and sort through it all and find what works? As a parent, you need support in how to BECOME that voice of influence in your children’s lives so that out of those 100 million voices, your voice can stand out. Our children need that, particularly during their teenage years.
The family dynamics have changed.
We are raising children as single parents, blended families, co-parenting, adoptive families among other settings. The challenges that come with navigating these spaces are unique for each family and we cannot have a one-size fits all strategy. We need support in managing our unique family dynamics.
Many of us are working away from home and have to grapple with competing work-life interests. We ask questions such as - Should I stay at home? Should I take less hours? Should I work from home? Travel less? Hire a nanny? Driver? Should I homeschool? Online School? Blended learning? And in many cases, choosing one direction leaves room for guilt and second guessing. Should I have stayed at home? We are forever questioning and second guessing ourselves and sometimes we need a space to just walk us through making these decisions and moving forward with clarity.
We are raising our children in a very democratic space.
Our children are encouraged to voice their opinions, elect student leaders, make their voices heard, speak up and speak out against injustices, and children’s rights. There are so many movements and messages telling us to be free and as much as this has helped in amplifying the voices of the weak and the minority, there's a need for boundaries when we are raising children. How do we still maintain our voice as parents? How do we ensure we are creating a space where our children can still listen to us, while we give them the independence that is so necessary for their own identity? How do we create a space where our children are able to tell us things that we would NEVER dare tell our parents? How do we get there and still maintain authority? This process needs a lot of learning and unlearning and you cannot walk that journey on your own…
In a nutshell, these are the reasons why You and I need as much parenting support as we can get. It is not because we are clueless, it is not because we do not know, it is not because we do not have EVERYTHING it takes. It is simply because we live in different times and this calls for us to be more open, more flexible and more willing to learn, to share, to be candid about our struggles and have the humility to acknowledge that we could use some support as parents.
SO, what do you think? Do you need support? In what area do you need support as a parent? Contact us today and let us walk this journey together!
