One of the loudest voices a parent has to deal with is - I should be doing more….
I was speaking to a group of parents a while ago. When it came to the Q/A session, a parent had a concern…
Parent: "I have been experiencing XXXX with my child and I was wondering what I should be doing more….. What tips do you have for me?"
Me: "How old is your child?"
Parent: "XX years old."
Me: "What have you done about it before?"
The parent went into details about all they had done. I was impressed by their specificity and clarity.
Me: "That is exactly what I would tell you to do. I do not have any more tips."
Parent: "But nothing is changing, it is almost as if they are getting worse. I just need some real tools, Dr. Carol. What more should I do?"
So I went on to explain that what they were doing was actually enough. However, a few things they needed to consider:
How long they had been doing it consistently and intentionally. The fact that perhaps at XX years,, this child may not be developmentally ready to get this lesson, within the time frame that the parent expected.
What else could be going on with the child that they may not be aware of? Mis-Behavior is communication of an underlying need.
And the most important - what was the parent telling themselves? What had they believed about this child? What had they believed about this situation? What had they believed about their own (parent’s) capability?
Friends, for the most part, we KNOW, deep down, what is right for our children. However, we doubt ourselves over and over, because of voices within and voices outside of ourselves.
We do not need more tools and tips and strategies. We can always google those.
What we need is a commitment to do the inner work and stay the course….
And that is the most difficult journey of all..
Because we have to release immediate results…..and focus on progress, effort and improvement.
The best predictor of a child’s well-being is the parent’s self-awareness.
Where are you on your self awareness journey?
Do you need support on your self-awareness journey? Contact us today and let us walk this journey together!
Happy Parenting!