Friends…..
If you have ever been around any of my talks, you know that I am really BIG on SELF-AWARENESS in parenting. So, today I would like to talk about why SELF-AWARENESS is so very important. And I will share with you a quote that I share on all my platforms. It is by Dr. Shefali Tsabary, from one of her books – The Conscious Parent. Here is what she says,
“Unless you are fulfilled, you will use your children to complete you. You will teach them how to live with your unacknowledged fears, your rejected emptiness, your forgotten lies—all the while unaware you are doing so”
So, you may ask…what is self-awareness…
Ability to monitor my inner world – particularly my emotions and thoughts, in the moment.
What am I bringing into this moment with my child?
How am I interpreting my child’s emotions and behaviors?
What conversations are going on in my mind right now?
What are my core-beliefs about this situation?
And why is self-awareness such a big deal?
What is going on within us will eventually determine whether we REACT or RESPOND to our children. And this will determine whether our children learn anything at all about the situation.
When we are reactive with our children, they focus more on our reactions than the behavior we are trying to get them to change to.
IF YOU FEEL SHAME IN THE MOMENT, YOU ARE LIKELY TO SHAME YOUR CHILD
IF YOU FEEL GUILTY IN THE MOMENT, YOU ARE LIKELY TO GUILT-TRIP YOUR CHILD
Without self-awareness, we feel stuck, we conclude that we do not have many choices, it makes us feel anxious, fearful…and we react by lashing out, yelling, spanking and giving long-winded lectures.
With self-awareness, we are able to tell when we are being reactive and when we are being responsive. A reactive parent lashes out when they are triggered by a child’s behavior; a responsive parent has the ability to pause and reflect on their heart experiences before they engage their children in ways that will build on, rather than take away from the relationship.
So, would like to be a more self-aware parent? A parent who is learning to be less reactive and more responsive? A parent who is able to identify the things that trigger them to be reactive?
Sign-up for our 1-1 coaching session with Dr. Carol today to help you figure out what those triggers are, what those obstacles are and more importantly, learn practical tools on how to become more responsive.
Your children get to enjoy a healthier you!